Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Death of the Family Part 5: Catwoman #14 (and Amazing Spider-Man #698)

So in my earlier blog today, I mentioned that I felt I read two pretty good books, and two utterly annoying books. Well, I reviewed the good ones, and now, here are the others.

Catwoman #14

While reading this, I could only think one thing:

Every few pages, I needed to review what I had read in order to figure out what the hell was going on. And you know what, I still couldn't figure it out completely!

So what I could understand was that Joker put a bomb on a kid, and Catwoman agrees to go "to hell" with him so the kid can go free.

And then he takes her and the kid... and THEN lets him go! Why would a Joker this psychotic take that course of action? I mean, Joker's actions can be random, but this just didn't seem to fit right.

And then he binds Catwoman to a machine and leaves her in an homage to EVERY VILLAIN EVER. She, of course, gets free, but passes out only to have Joker making out with her.

The main point of this is clearly that Joker wants Catwoman to go back to being a pure villain against Batman (something I've been rooting for!), but she doesn't seem very receptive to the idea.

Possibly the dumbest thing this book tries to theorize is that Joker is in a sado-masochistic relationship with Batman and he wants to be his Bat-b****. Why is this even in the crossover. This is just moronic.

I can honestly say I have no desire to ever pick up a Catwoman book again after this. There were some nice Joker techniques in here (like the spray in Catwoman's suit that triggers temporary rigor mortis), but they are wasted here in beyond stupid plot.

If you're not collecting all the DOTF issues, avoid this thing like the plague!

Amazing Spider-Man #698

OK, so most of my readers know I don't often read or review Marvel. My issue is simple: While I like the heroes, I find that their efforts to make readers relate to their heroes wind up making them come off as whiny and unlikable.

Their focus on events and crossovers don't help either. Civil War made Iron Man seem like a douche. AVX made Cyclops seem like a douche. And then there's Spider-Man.

I will acknowledge that I love Spidey and he is my favorite Marvel character. His first movie revitalized the comic movie industry. The sequel set the new standard for comic films (until the Dark Knight Trilogy topped it). And his cartoon series was truly amazing.

Unfortunately, the comics have been a weak point for a while. Although I keep up with the storylines, I have struggled to even somewhat desire picking up a book since "One More Day" hit the series like an electroshock to the 'nads.

All of that said, today started the final arc before Amazing Spider-Man #700/the final Amazing Spider-Man/the end of Peter Parker's tenure as Spider-Man. As such, I felt it was time to give the books a once-over.

And I can already tell I'm going to be pissed off.

Spidey narrates his portion in a near-verbatim rip-off of "Spider-Man 3." Turns out Doc Ock is about to die and is asking for Peter, and Peter is busy stopping a fake supervillain.

Some of his dialogue is the traditional Spider-Man wit, but a lot of it is also total arrogance and he actually starts to come off as an ass.

Then he comes by Mary Jane Watson's club, and the two tease that OMD might get broken somehow. (But as the end will show, Mephisto/Marvel Creative ain't letting that happen!) Oh and Aunt May is found to be recovering from yet ANOTHER ailment, as her ability to walk is returning.

The final part of this book is Spidey going in to see Ock and this scene... this scene is upsetting. Don't get me wrong: It's interesting and I want to see where it goes. But I have no faith in Marvel's creative team to do something good with this. I don't expect an explanation to whatever the hell just happened. I don't expect Peter to survive this. I don't even expect that death to stick for more than a year or two AT MOST.

I would buy this, but be very wary that this arc could very well turn out to be either an all-time great storyline that gets alienated Marvel fans back into the books - OR it could be an utter failure of catastrophic proportions that makes it hard to take Marvel seriously. They are taking THAT BIG a risk with this plot twist. 

It all hangs on you now, Marvel. You've got my attention. Don't f*** this up.

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